I am writing about Halloween because I suddenly remembered reading about a warning label on a Superman costume. The label warned: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." It is the dumbest label I have ever seen. The word dumb is a rude way to describe a person who is unable to speak. But it is also a slang word that means stupid or idiotic. Many products nowadays have very dumb labels because companies are worried they will be sued if dumb (stupid, idiotic) people use their products the wrong way. To sue someone means to start legal action against that person.
In the US, many products have dumb warning labels because Americans like to sue. Some years ago a young man sued McDonald's because he became too fat after eating hamburgers every day. The peanut packets on American Airlines have this label: "Instructions: Open packet. Eat nuts." The label on the boxes of shower caps in some hotels says: "Fits one head." A shower cap is the plastic cap that people wear when they shower if they don't want to get their hair wet. Some brands of iron have this label: "Do not iron clothes when wearing them." Of course everyone knows a shower cap can only fit one head. And only a brainless person (stupid person, idiot) would iron his clothes while he is wearing them. But there have been cases of shrewd (very clever) people who deliberately do dumb things with products so they can sue the companies for large amounts of money.
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今天是萬聖節。有些人，特別是年輕人，為了好玩而喜歡穿着嚇人服飾（scary costume）。Scary costume就是嚇人裝束或戲服，也不是所有萬聖節服飾都是恐怖（scary）的。有些人喜歡打扮得像電影英雄般，例如超人和蝙蝠俠。我住近蘭桂坊，香港人喜歡在萬聖節當晚穿着戲服在那兒尋歡作樂（party，動詞）。Party（派對）這字通常用作名詞，但當動詞用時，則解作跳舞和豪歡暢飲。
我在寫萬聖節，因為我突然記起我讀過一個在超人戲服上的警告標籤。那標籤的警告是：「穿上這件衣服，不能令你飛翔。」這是我見過最愚蠢（dumbest）的標籤。Dumb是不禮貌地叫不能說話的人作啞巴，但也是解作愚蠢的俚語。今天許多產品都有很愚笨（dumb）的標籤，因為他們擔心要是一些笨（dumb）人錯誤使用他們的產品，他們就會被告（sued），去sue某人即是控告那人。
在美國，許多產品都有愚蠢（dumb）的警告標籤，因為美國人很喜歡告（sued）人。幾年前，一個年輕男子控告麥當勞，因為他每天吃過一個漢堡包後，他就變胖了。美國航空的花生包裝上有這個標貼：「說明：打開包裝，吃果仁。」一些酒店的浴帽（shower cap）包裝盒有標貼寫着：「容得下一個頭。」Shower cap就是浴帽，讓人洗澡時不會沾濕頭髮。有些熨斗的牌子會有這樣的標籤：「穿衣時別熨那件衣服。」當然，所有人都知道浴帽（shower cap）只容得下一個頭，也只有沒腦的人（brainless person）會在穿着衣服時去熨那件衫。但總有精明（shrewd）的人會刻意用愚笨（dumb）的方法使用產品，好讓他們可以控告那些公司，獲得巨額賠償。mickchug@gmail.com
中譯:七刻
Michael Chugani 褚簡寧
Source: http://news.stheadline.com/dailynews/headline_news_detail_columnist.asp?id=260645§ion_name=wtt&kw=126