2013-07-09
Source: http://news.hkheadline.com/dailynews/headline_news_detail_columnist.asp?id=245157§ion_name=wtt&kw=126
Which part of Central should the Occupy Central civil disobedience protesters occupy？ The organizers of Occupy Central are undecided （unable to decide yet）. Queen's Road Central would be a good choice. The section （part） between HSBC and the Mid-Levels escalator is a swanky （slang for fashionable and expensive） area where rich mainlanders like to shop. There are many high-end （expensive and good-quality） shops such as Gucci, Gap, Coach and Abercrombie & Fitch. That section of Queen's Road Central is also very near Lan Kwai Fong. Since it is a narrow road, it would be easy to block it with 10,000 protesters sitting cross-legged （one leg over the other） in the middle of the road.
B
locking Queen's Road Central would prevent vehicles coming from Wanchai and Admiralty from turning into Pedder Street. Traffic in Central would be paralyzed （unable to move）. If the Occupy Central protesters choose Queen's Road Central, the pro-government camp can use sneaky （slang for sly， cunning） tactics （methods） to foil the protest. To foil something means to prevent it from succeeding. Many business groups have already said they oppose Occupy Central because it would hurt Hong Kong's economy. The pro-government camp can therefore foil the Occupy Central protest by asking all the well-known shops on Queen's Road Central such as Gucci, Chow Tai Fook, H&M, and the newly-opened Topshop to offer 80 percent discounts on everything. All the protesters would stop protesting and start shopping.
The pro-government camp can be even sneakier （more sneaky） by asking the Lan Kwai Fong bars and a famous bakery to give free drinks and cookies containing strong laxatives. A laxative is a medicine to treat constipation （difficulty in having a bowel movement）. If the free drinks and cookies contain a lot of laxatives， the protesters will have diarrhea （diarrhoea in British English）， which means having too many bowel movements. The protesters will need to rush to the toilet， but there are very few toilets in that section of Queen's Road Central. They will have to shit （widely-used slang word for bowel movement） in the street. The mainland shoppers can then take pictures to show that Hong Kong people are uncivilized.
* * *
「佔領中環」公民抗命的示威者，應該佔領中環的哪裏？「佔中」搞手還未決定（undecided）。皇后大道中會是個不錯的選擇。匯豐總行與半山扶手電梯之間的一段（section）是相當高尚時髦（swanky，俚語）的地帶，內地人都喜歡在那兒購物。那邊有許多高級（high-end）店舖，例如Gucci、Gap、Coach和Abercrombie & Fitch。皇后大道中的這一段（section）也很接近蘭桂坊，由於道路狹窄，一萬個示威者就很容易阻塞道路，在道路中央交叉腳（cross-legged）盤坐便可。
阻塞皇后大道中，便可阻礙從灣仔和金鐘來的車輛駛入畢打街，中環的交通將會癱瘓（paralyzed）。要是佔中示威者選擇了皇后大道中，親建制陣營便可用一些奸計（sneaky tactics）去阻撓這場示威運動。To foil即是去挫敗某事。許多商界組織已經表明反對「佔中」，斥會損害香港經濟。親建制陣營大可呼籲皇后大道中的所有知名商鋪，例如Gucci、周大福、H&M甚至新開張的Topshop，所有貨品一律二折優惠，那麼所有示威者便會停止示威，轉移陣地購物去也。
親建制陣營可以更鬼祟（sneakier），叫蘭桂坊的酒吧和中環某名牌曲奇派發含有強烈瀉藥（laxatives）的免費飲品和曲奇。Laxatives是醫便秘（constipation）的藥。要是免費飲品和曲奇含有許多瀉藥，示威者就會肚瀉（diarrhea，英式串法為diarrhoea）。示威者都得湧去廁所，但皇后大道中的那段路上的廁所少之又少。他們就得在路上開大（shit，排便的常用俚語）。內地購物顧客就會拍照，證明香港人都是不文明的。
mickchug@gmail.com
中譯:七刻
Michael Chugani 褚簡寧